We were driving and she was in the passenger seat next to me. I could feel her suck her breath in...I could see her try so hard to be strong...maybe if she doesn't breath... then I saw her wipe away a tear...ever so slyly...and then there was another.
She continued to look out the front window. Perhaps if she didn't react, it would just go away. I reached over and touched her shoulder. I wanted to pull her close to me and take away her pain. I saw so much of me in her during that moment. So many times I had held back tears of pain caused by another's words.
Why do we insist on tearing each other down? Ephesians 4:29 says, Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Did our mothers not teach us, "If you can't say something nice, then say nothing at all"?
I am afraid that I am guilty of not using my words to 'give grace'. Sarcasm flows from my lips like a river. Wikipedia defines sarcasm like this: Sarcasm is "a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark" and Dictionary.com is not any kinder in their description: In sarcasm, ridicule or mockery is used harshly, often crudely and contemptuously, for destructive purposes. WOW! Is that really what I want to be known for? Sharp, bitter, crude and contemptuous? No! No it is not. And from this moment forward, I promise you, I will work hard to only speak words of grace. It will not be an easy row to hoe. But I must be a better example for my children. And I will work hard to 'build up' my children. They must know that they are children of God. They were created in His image and there could be nothing more beautiful.
Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!
Amen
Great reminder to us all, Suzi! (((hugs))) for Gracie.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Suzi......I don't think you ever said 'Gracie'. I assumed when you said 'my little girl'. Shouldn't assume......Hannah's still a little girl too. (((hugs))) for both of them.
DeleteThanks, Shirley. You were correct in your assumption.
DeleteI want to hug Gracie right now. She doesn't deserve whatever words were said. And beautiful and very true words by her mother here, too :) xoxoxo's to both of you!!
ReplyDeletePoor thing. :( Perhaps telling her this story will give her a laugh... or at least you, and make you feel better:
ReplyDeleteIf you don’t have anything nice to say…
When I was a young girl growing up in Europe, my dad instructed me not to talk about people when they were present, but I could talk privately about someone after we got home. So one day when I saw an unusual-looking woman on the train, I turned to my father and said, in a conspiratorial tone, yet probably still loud enough for the woman to hear,“Daddy, we’ll talk about her later.”
-Madeleine, former child
from http://parentingisfunny.wordpress.com