Life comes at you fast...

That insurance commercial has always made me snicker.  Isn't it so true?  Life DOES come at you fast.  And it can change in an instant.


It's been a long week for me.  It seems like it's been a long several months for many.  There has been sickness, deaths, car accidents...you name it!  One after another; someone experiencing some sort of difficult life event.  I found myself in a funk last night.  Somewhat of a 'self-pitying' funk.  I'll admit, it's not a place I am proud to be in.  Self-pity almost turns into self-loathing.  I have felt alone.  I know that we have all been there.  I have tried all week to keep my emotions in check, not really allowing myself to cry over the death of a very dear, old friend. Life needed to move forward.  Meals needed to be made, homework needed to be done, kids needed to be put to bed, all the while running back and forth from viewing, to funeral...to life.  But that is what it's all about...life.  And our life is what we make of it.  What we take from it and what we give back.


I was talking this week with several people about how events in our lives mold us.  They can set the path for how we will travel down the many roads of life's journey later.  And so many times our paths have been tainted by a negative experience.  We hold onto them and we allow them to become who we are and every time we come up against that event again in life, we approach it with the same tainted view.  But if we are lucky, we get an opportunity to recognize it and to change it.


I found myself waking up all night with the song Blessings, by Laura Story, on my mind.  Then after I got the kids to school and came out of the gym, it was on the radio in my car.  Obviously, God was trying to tell me something.  I prayed for His hand to be on me last night.  I had prayed that He would speak to me and lead me from my funk.  But I wasn't listening, I was looking at my life through my tainted glasses, filled with loneliness and self-pity.  But God has given us freewill.  Many times I have told my children, "You have a choice.  You can choose to be mad about 'X' or you can choose to get over it.  It's your choice."


That's what I hear now, from my Heavenly Father, "You have a choice.  I have given you this life.  Make of it what you will and know that you are not alone."


And as I close this post, I'll admit, there is some self-doubt still lingering, but I realize that it is up to me.  I feel a weight being lifted and I know that I have a beautiful life.